Subud Symbol

Leonard's Stories

Meeting Bapak
A Subud Opening
Fire From The Sky
Purification Blues
A Point Of Quietness
Subud And Buddhism


A delightful set of Stories from Leonard - Some are orientated towards Subud readers.

Also - Poems by Leonard Oliver


Meeting Bapak

Bapak is the affectionate name for Muhammad Subuh, the Javanese founder of the Subud Association. Members of Subud meet regularly to worship God through a spiritual force known as the latihan. Bapak first received the latihan in 1925 and devoted the rest of his life to following it and to establishing Subud. The latihan enables people to experience inner changes which are of benefit to their lives. Bapak spoke of these changes with the assurance that God's guidance is behind them. With God's grace, he said, you will come to receive a heart as wide as the ocean.

I attended a number of talks which Bapak gave during visits to England. There was one occasion when, in a strange and beautiful way, I met him. He was 85 and in the last year of his life.

One afternoon in the autumn of 1986 I was walking in the fields with my dog Tashi when I was unaccountably flooded with joy. Whilst climbing through a gap in the hedge it surprisingly occured to me that this feeling stemmed from Bapak. The thought made no sense, so I dismissed it.

Days passed but the joy stayed with me. I was both uplifted and puzzled. Then in a newsletter I read that Bapak had flown to London from his home in Jakarta to have an eye operation. He had arrived on the day I was walking in the fields with Tashi.

An anouncement was made that Bapak would give a talk at the Anugraha Hotel near Windsor Great Park and I decided to go. The word Anugraha means an unexpected gift from God. I had an intimation that I would experience the latihan under the dome of Anugraha's main hall.

On the day of the talk I set off with my friends Miriam, Laura and John. We arrived to find the main hall and gallery packed with people. Miriam and Laura found gallery seats whilst John and I wandered to the stage with its chairs ready for Bapak and his translator. And there, to the side of the stage, were two empty seats waiting for us to claim them.

As a mark of respect everyone stood when Bapak came in. He looked old and rather frail but had a very purposeful manner. After a short talk he invited some members to stand in the space between the audience and the stage to experience the latihan. John and I got up and stood with a few others. The next fifteen minutes were extraordinary and intense as we moved and sang in the latihan. At one point I raised my arms in a gesture of worship and looked up to see Anugraha's dome.

The latihan came in dynamic bursts and between them Bapak spoke. He pointed out that God is inside us and we don't have to search elsewhere to find Him. When our lives become burdened we can turn to God and receive the lightness that we need. We will come gradually to understand the enormity of His power.

At the end I returned to my seat feeling that I had received a gift which was like the pearl of great price.

Later, on the journey home to Clare, the weather was remarkable. We sped through rain and through brilliant sunshine and the low sun gave us rainbow after rainbow after rainbow.

Leonard Oliver, September 2003

A Subud Opening

My friend and neighbour John bought Concerning Subud by J. G. Bennett from a bookstall on a local market. One day I borrowed this book from John and after reading it discussed my responses with him. This moved him to read it again. He was so impressed that he decided to make contact with our nearest Subud Group, in Ipswich, thirty miles from Clare. Months later, after much deliberation, he joined. I noticed how devoted he became to attending the twice-weekly latihan and I was convinced that an authentic spiritual force was working in his life.

At this time Subud was a closed door to me but I felt that here was an invitation for me to knock and enter. One afternoon I woke from a nap with the sudden conviction that I would ask to join Subud. I stood up to look out of the window and saw Hamish draw up in his car. He was the only Subud member living in my locality apart from John. He had come from his home in Newmarket on a rare visit to John in the house next door. I was struck by the coincidence.

When I later visited the Ipswich Group a date was set for my opening, after the usual three month introductory period. During this period I went several times with John to Ipswich and waited in the car park whilst the group were engaged in latihan. Then I met everyone for a coffee and chat. On one such occasion, as I sat alone in my car, I was suddenly hit by a current of energy. It was like an electric shock. Then, for a few minutes, I remained absolutely still. And I knew I had been given something that I deeply needed. This was my opening.

Two weeks later, on an evening in March 1980, I was officially opened by the group. It was the day before my birthday. In the latihan I was moved, without any intention, to lie flat on the floor. I listened to the sounds of people around me, the singing and the movements, and I felt completely relaxed. I had knocked on the Subud door and entered and found myself at home.

Leonard Oliver, September 2003

Fire From The Sky

This piece was written for the Subud Voice.

Some years ago, in an exhibition of eskimo carvings, I discovered a translation of an eskimo song, a poem about openness and surrender with a wonderful wild freedom to it. At a later date I again came across this poem in a book of Canadian and Greenlandic eskimo poems. The book included the Report of the Fifth Thule Expedition by the Danish explorer Knud Rasmusson, published in 1927, telling of the origin of the poem. Uvavnuk, the author, was a shaman of the Iglulik Inuit and her story provides an intriguing parallel to the one Bapak tells concerning the coming of the latihan.

This is Bapak's story, as he told it in 1987 in the talk entitled All Of Mankind. In 1925 after an evening of study Bapak went for a walk to clear his mind. A very bright light fell from the sky and entered Bapak's body. He felt a shock which he enterpreted as a heart attack, so he hurried home and lay down on his bed and surrendered himself to God. He suddenly saw the inside of his body which was filled with radiant light. Bapak spontaneously got up from the bed and was moved to perform the Islamic prayers. This was the beginning of the latihan as Subud members know it.

Uvavnuk's story occured sometime before Bapak's, in her isolated eskimo community. On a winter's evening Uvavnuk went ouside her hut to relieve herself. A glowing ball of fire fell from the sky. All she wanted to do was to run in quickly, but there was no time, the light entered her body and she was knocked to the ground. She saw inside her body as everything within her grew light. Uvavnuk got up and ran into the house singing a new song. She was intoxicated with joy. Everyone in the house was delighted and, without being asked, began to confess their misdeeds. They obtained release from their troubles by lifting their arms and making a flinging gesture. The effect of this purification was such that bad things were blown away as dust is blown from the hand. After that night Uvavnuk became a reknowned shaman. The account ends by relating that after her death the people of the village experienced a year of great abundance.

Uvavnuk's community experienced a remarkable flowering of the spiritual life. When Rasmusson recorded the story it was alive only as a fond memory. All the great religions tell of such flowerings: periods when people underwent spiritual renewal through association with influential guides. Buddhists in seventh century China flocked to Hui Neng to be shown the purity of their original nature. In the thirteenth century, Flemish Christians close to Jan van Ruysbroeck experienced "an upward stirring exercise of love." In fifteenth century India, Kabir inspired both Hindus and Moslems to break barriers and find God in their lives. There are endless tales of such flowerings and all, however dynamic, were transient.

These histories lead me to reflect on the nature of Subud today. Certain elements have long impressed me. Bapak, as spiritual guide, has always exhorted Subud members to turn to God and not to himself, and being a man of great integrity, he meant it. The power of the latihan gives members the means to take Bapak at his word. The latihan is passed undiminished one to another. It leaps all cultural and religious barriers. These barriers then become differences, a rich diversity, viewed with marked respect. The latihan is amazingly unconfined and all-inclusive. Add these elements together and they help to explain why Subud is a unique world-wide movement, capable of inspiring intense hope for the future.

Of course, whatever hopes Subud members hold in their hearts, the truth is that Subud too is a flowering in time. What has a beginning must also have an end. Only the source of the latihan, towards which everyone is continually drawn, is eternal. But I feel that the lives of people in Subud are caught up in an extraordinary adventure, with its trials, gifts and responsibilities. In every sense there is involvement in a moving experience. Perhaps Uvavnuk might be allowed the last word. Here is her lovely poem:

The great sea has set me in motion,
Set me adrift,
And I move as a weed in the river.
The arch of sky
And mightiness of storms
Encompass and stir me,
And I am left
Trembling with joy.

Leonard Oliver, August 1997

Purification Blues

This piece was written for the Subud Bulletin.

There is a 1927 recording of Blind Willie Johnson singing "Dark Was The Night". He plays guitar and simply hums. Without a word articulated he conveys loneliness and heartache. I think it's the essence of the blues. Here is a man acquainted with pain who has no explanations to soften the impact, who sings it out yet maintains a reticence. It's a moving track.

In Subud, the pain is present amongst us. It's a part of the Subud story. When we join we are led to expect it. The Loudwater Group has an introductory leaflet which has been framed and hung on the wall of the house. It contains this cautionary and succinct paragraph:

"For some there is considerable pain. The process of purification brings out problems, reminds forcibly, agonisingly, of past mistakes. Many things have to be faced and in a way re-lived before they can be left behind".

If we follow the latihan it doesn't let sleeping dogs lie. We have to face our troubles before we can freely let them go. Surrender is not an easy path. At times it may be entirely appropriate that we remain reticent and walk that path alone. It may also be of great comfort and support to have a trusted friend who knows what we are enduring. We may need to test and use the latihan to help make sense of our experience or to help us move through the changes. In this case we certainly need those people who will listen to us and hear us and join with us.

Help may come when we need it without a word being spoken. At one point in my Subud life the purification was so intense I decided to walk away, to give it a rest. It was the night of my group latihan. I would not go. There was a knock at the door and there stood a helper from a neighbouring group. He had come, out of the blue, to travel with me to join my group for latihan. In more ways than one that night, as the song goes, we travelled on together.

Personally I think that a conscious commitment to being available to other people is essential. We need an openness to the feelings of others so that we may be moved to walk over to them, or so that they may walk over to us. Then, even when their pain is barely articulated, we will hear it and respond.

Leonard Oliver, March 1998

A Point Of Quietness

This piece was written for the Subud Bulletin.

To experience the benefits of the latihan we have to approach it quietly and with a feeling of surrender. This is Bapak's advice, and the convention of sitting in silence before the latihan is faithfully observed by us all. We agree that it is good preparation. In Bapak's Advice and Guidance for Helpers, M'bakyu Rochanawati underlines the point by suggesting that we recognise "an inner need for quietness" and provide for it without distraction.

So, in the course of our busy lives, we are faced with a tall order: to empty ourselves of thoughts and to calm our feelings; to dive under the eddies of the day and approach the well-spring. My own experience, if all goes well, has three stages. Firstly, I confront the surface eddies, sometimes the whirlpools, with the intention of going under them. Secondly, I consider the coming latihan. This might involve thinking about a proposed test to be done after the latihan or asking that I might receive from God whatever I need. Occasionally, I briefly look round at the other members with gratitude for our having gathered together. Like Ringo in the song, I get by with a little help from my friends. But these things must fall away if I'm to come to the third stage, and the time is short. This is when preoccupations cease and there is just a calmness and an inner clarity. With this I stand and relax and the latihan begins.

Recently I was struck by a passage in Solihin Garrard's compilation of Mas Sudarto's experiences. In Subud's early days, for a year or so members of the Jogjakarta Group were advised by Bapak to do latihan on their own for half an hour as preparation for joining the group latihan. I have my own personal version of this which is practical and comfortable. I treat the journey by car to latihan as part of the preparation. This is a time for becoming less fragmented. Sometimes it works well and I am sharply aware of myself as absent from the scene, with my hands on the steering wheel and the countryside moving past the car. In fact this is a safe way to drive: I find myself fully attentive to the present moment.

When we reach a point of quietness we stop dwelling on the past with regret or longing and we stop being apprehensive or hopeful about the future. We cease to neglect what is actually given in the present. Essentially we have an openness and an availability. Then we attend to receiving in the latihan.

I have one last thought. On many occasions I'm not very successful in these preparations. But my intention is usually good and I do send out an invitation. If you're like me, you probably find quite often that the invitation is answered. The quietness makes its own way up, from the well-spring, and you welcome it.

Leonard Oliver, January 1998

Subud And Buddhism

This piece appeared in the Subud Voice and The Headless Way.

My background is Christian and the latihan has given me experiences with a distinct Christian flavour. However, since the age of 16 I have been deeply interested in Buddhism and for over thirty years it has provided inspiration and consolation in my life.The latihan in its searching way has shed light on those aspects of Buddhism that have influenced me. So, with a degree of inner conviction and gratitude, I would like to share my thoughts on what are for me key elements in Buddhism.

I have encountered the Buddha as an historic person and as the originator of an immensely profound and rich culture. I have been moved by the Dharma, the wealth of spiritual guidance, including the Brahma Viharas which are the four great virtues. These are loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity. They are given distinct and helpful definitions. Loving-kindness focuses on the well-being of others and is expressed in small, everyday acts of kindness. As in Buddhism the division between self and others is considered an illusion, there is little wonder that one person's pain draws out another's compassion. Sympathetic joy celebrates the successes of others without a hint of meanness. Equanimity is about being grounded and responding to life's vicissitudes from a place of calm.

One view of the four virtues would be that they are obviously desirable and worth cultivating. Buddhism, however, insists that they will flow spontaneously and appropriately if the inner state has settled deeply into its original clarity and alertness. This is a practical truth. Buddhists are very keen on a skillful approach to life. I am reminded of how in Subud we employ simple but skillful means. We find it essential to approach the latihan attentively, in a state of quietness and surrender.

There is a telling story, with practical import, concerning the Zen master Ikkyu. A man asked Ikkyu to write down a maxim encapsulating his wisdom. Ikkyu wrote the word "Attention". "Is that all?" said the man. "Will you add something more?" Ikkyu wrote "Attention, Attention". "Well," said the man, "I don't see much depth here". Ikkyu then wrote his final note, "Attention, Attention, Attention".

In response to Ikkyu's story, it would be reasonable to ask what essentially should be the focus of attention. The answer points to that original clarity, the source of the four great virtues. This is known as the inner Buddha-nature which is boundless awareness itself. It leads us to discover a fascinating link between Buddhist and Subud experience.

As those who have enjoyed Harlinah Longcroft's History of Subud will know, in Jogjakarta after the war the Subud movement was provisionally known as Kasunyatan. This is a word with its root in a term familiar to Buddhists. Sunyata means emptiness. This is not simply a philosophic notion concerning the inner nature of sentient beings, but an experiential truth. Again we encounter the Buddha-nature, that state of being completely unmasked, open and alert. Some Buddhists use the term surrendered in this context.

It was in 1947, during a testing session with Bapak, that the name Subud was received. Apart from the familiar definition, it was said at the time that the word means empty, round, zero. Reflecting this, in an early edition of Bapak's Advice and Guidance for Helpers, Brodjolukito says, "Personally I am convinced that the right state is a condition of zero". I find in this simple, lucid phrase a bridge between the latihan and essential Buddhist experience which is both sure and heart-warming. I value such connectedness. It is relevant to my personal experience and to our shared view that the latihan taps the well-springs of the great enduring religions, Buddhism included.

Leonard Oliver, April 1997



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