After eight years - Farina

Farina first heard of Subud in 1988 while in London, and though later in Paris she was put in touch with My Hanh, she was not there long enough to be opened. How she finally came into Subud eight years later in Tashkent is something of a miracle. Here is her story ..

When Dr. My Hanh knew I was coming to Tashkent she sent me Bachtiar's address and Dilbar's fax no. in Ferghana.

I arrived in Nov. ‘95, but the address was impossible to find as all the street names were being changed from Russian and Jewish to local Uzbek names. So I called the French Embassy and they gave me Bachtiar’s phone no. Bachtiar invited me to visit, but as I was going back to Karachi, I promised to contact him when I returned.

Unfortunately my return was delayed and I did not get back till Feb.'96. I had no fax or phone so I couldn't contact Ferghana. One morning I prayed fervently, asking God to somehow let me contact Bachtiar within 24 hours.

That afternoon I visited an acquaintance in his office and he asked me to answer any phone calls while he went out for a time. Sitting there I prayed aloud, asking God to help me. Soon a loud voice inside me said, "Look at a book on your right."

There were indeed a pile of books on my right, and I found one full of visiting cards and a note book with hand-written addresses. I looked at the cards, and saw one with an Asian name. Then I looked at the note book, but it was no help. Well, I decided I had only imagined the voice.

But at that moment again I heard it say, "No, not that book - the other one". I placed my hand on the others but it moved away on its own. So I asked, "This one?". As my hand went back to the visiting cards book I felt someone say "Yes" inside my head.

So I looked slowly through all the cards and had a strong feeling to look again at that Asian name. I glanced at it and got really excited - this person’s home address was the same as Bachtiar’s, but I knew I couldn't find my way to it. There was a phone number too, so I dialled it.

A woman answered, and I asked for the person on the card. She said there was no one there with such a name. I must have sounded upset, because then she asked why? I said her address was the same as someone I was looking for. I hoped he'd be working for them and be able to help me, because they're French.

Then she said maybe she could help me - what was my name?

I told her and she said very excitedly, "Farina, we're been waiting for you since December. Where are you ? - I am Bachtiar's wife!"

Well, I can tell you I felt thrilled.

She wanted to meet me at once, but I had to wait for my acquaintance to return. When he did, he took me over. Dilbar was there and Rahima. They wanted me to stay and be opened but I didn't know the way home. So I had to leave with the person who took me to the house. The next day the Lorots returned to Ferghana. They gave me Rahima's phone, and told me to keep in touch. At that time Rahima was not in Subud. She visited me once, but never was I able to get hold of her by phone.

In the meantime I joined TWIG (Tashkent Womens International Group). Our secretary was the wife of the Regional Co-ordinator of TACIS (Technical Assistance to Central Independent States). One day this lady said she would be going to Ferghana with her husband to see one of his projects. I mentioned that I was trying to contact someone there, called Bachtiar. It turned out he was the head of the very same project that her husband was going to visit. So I asked her to tell Bachtiar to get in touch with me.

She told me she gave him my message but he never called. I gave up and decided maybe God didn't want me to be in Subud - I didn't need it. But towards the end of November Bachtiar phoned and asked me to meet him and the few members in Uzbekistan. By then I wasn't interested and didn't feel like going, but he invited me to lunch and his wife gave directions to their house.

So I went along anyway - and suddenly I was opened ! And since that Saturday 30 Nov '96, I've found a deeper meaning in all that I've been taught: I 've real faith in my religion Islam, my life changed for the better and once again I listen to the voice inside me that I had stopped listening to for so many years.

So that is my Subud story. After chasing Subud for 8 years and 10 months for all the wrong reasons, I was actually being prepared unknowingly. And when I finally got opened it was for the right reason and I understand Subud now. If I had come during the years I was chasing after it I 'd never have understood or stayed with it.