And Afterwards

"Everyone has gone."

The house is empty. Everyone has gone to the airport but the exhaustion and every other emotion of the past week has got the better of me and I prefer to remain here alone. In every room there are oleh-oleh's. Little soaps and perfumes, Subud stationary, a pink nightie, a batik of Loura's, aprons and wall-hanging. "Don't send anything on to us," said Sharif. I walk into my room and look on my desk. On it, neatly placed, is a ticket stub, "Sumohadiwidjojo Honolulu Dec. 21", and beside it, his green pen. Bapak has left me his green pen! Well, I shed a few tears and lay down on Mastuti's bed for a rest.

Mardihaj, Hawaii

"Pervasive love feeling."

His talks, testing, and all else were a greater blessing than we could have imagined. I am still amid a sort of pervasive love feeling following Bapak's visit to our home.

Helaine, U.S.A.

"Intimate memories."

Everyone has his own intimate memories of what he received from Bapak's visit, ranging from the strange remarks that people make, to profound moments of stillness, as when we sat together in the park, enjoying each other's and Bapak's presence. As expected, Bapak said it best, in a few short remarks at the picnic, that perhaps this feeling of closeness to Bapak and to each other as we sat around would be the most lasting memory of this visit.

Reymond, Austria

"We feel as if an era is now closed."

We went through a great cleansing and our understanding of Subud has changed and progressed. We feel as if an era is now closed. For those who had come to be weary of Subud and feel doubts, their faith has returned. During the session with helpers and committee, Bapak made the kejiwaan so present and so real -- it was a truly great experience.

Louis, France

"Back to the world again."

Memories of Bapak. Bapak singing a prayer for us; the smile he gave one member who arrived late, just before he sang; another member keeping a table free for him at the airport.

Some people commented on how the tension eased after Bapak arrived. Others remarked upon how well the Christchurch group managed work. There was a lot to do and yet it was all done without too much hassle.

Several people felt the main message was that we were on our own now and that we were less dependent on Bapak. We had the tools and now must use them.

Then there was the hall! Everyone agreed that the inside was wonderful. Someone said the hall corresponded to Subud NZ, the outside being a bit heavy but the inside beautiful. We all agreed it was the inside that mattered. We remembered sitting in the hall in the morning and seeing, through the window, against the blue sky a plum tree, laden with plums. Someone said it seemed to symbolize the horn of plenty. We now find we can't buy plums from the shops. They look inferior and cost too much. One member said what he remembered were the salads at noon ! Certainly we all felt that Haris did a marvellous job.

Everyone came to dinner at the Seminary that evening. A happy occasion like a huge party filling the whole dining room. Then it was back to the world again.

New Zealand Newsletter

"Doesn't this place feel better."

Bapak and his family attended the Los Angeles open house at a building we are trying to buy. Bapak gave a short talk, his blessings, and the first donation towards the fund raising.

A few weeks later I was at the building to begin negotiations with the Chairman of the Board of the Owners. The nice old gentleman said, "You know, I told my Board the other day, doesn't this place feel better since that guy was here?"

Mardiningsih, U.S.A.

"The time with Bapak was so full and so deep that I'm sure I'11 never be the same again"

Virginia, U.S.A.

"I felt as though a great, tough indefinable gift had been bestowed on me."

Harlan, U.S.A.

"Afterwards a tremendous feeling of thanks and gratitude."

Chairman, Bristol, England.

". . . a great, incomprehensible gift that will benefit us for many a year yet. The visit set us new targets -- showed us our weaknesses, gave us new hope and new strength."

Harlan, England.