21 June 1998
Re-translated by Sharif Horthy
(As printed in Subud Voice August 98)
Beloved Ibu Mastuti and respected Subud brothers and sisters, good evening. I give praise and thanks to Almighty God that He has given the opportunity for all of us, including the visitors from abroad and the members from the Region Six [of Subud Indonesia], to come together in this meeting in the midst of all your activity.
I was asked to give you a little spiritual refreshment in the midst of all the activity of the meetings we are having. I hope that I can also give you something that will be useful in the international meeting that you are going to start on the 23rd of June and also for all of you from Region Six whom I have not met for a long time. I hope that this meeting will serve to encourage you to do your latihan diligently once again.
Two lives
As we know, this latihan has many effects, because its true purpose is to allow God's essence, which is within each human being, to manifest. Since the power of God is something that manifests within our being, and what is alive there within us is our soul [jiwa], we describe what we are doing as the training of the soul [latihan kejiwaan].
That is why this latihan is something that is alive, and it is alive both for our life in this world and also for our life in the hereafter. And these two lives, the lives here and in the hereafter, are certainly connected and whatever you experience in the latihan is carried into your everyday life, in the outside world.
So it is clear that whatever you do during the latihan, which you only do for thirty minutes or at the most one hour, is really a training for you - what you get in your latihan will be carried over into your everyday life. So don't get the idea that when you finish your latihan you leave behind whatever you received while you were doing it.
It is true that in our lives we human beings are accompanied by forces that God has placed within us. They like our friends for the duration of our life in this world. And it is also true that it is having these forces within us that arouses our desires or our ego [nafsu]. But, brothers and sisters, we really need these desires for as long as we live in this world. They are located in our thinking mind and our heart. Why has God put them there? Because God knows that it is the thinking mind and the heart that are able to calculate and deal with the challenge of living in this world.
It happens sometimes that the pressure of our desires becomes too strong and we forget our human self. That is the reason why we truly need the latihan - to balance this pressure of our desires, so that our soul will always be alive and attentive and careful in setting limits to how far the desires can go and how far they are allowed to have power over us. Because human beings are very easily carried away by their own desires and forget how far they are allowed to go.
So we are very lucky that, starting already in our life in this world, God has equipped us with this measuring tool, like a barometer within us, which enables us to know for ourselves, to make sure that we are not carried away too far by our desires. For, uncontrolled they can lead us to forget our human status.
Of course the function of our soul is not only to watch over our desires. It also has the right to develop itself, so that through this development, we can eventually free ourselves from our desires, which always seek to slow down our development as human beings. Through the development of our soul we are cleansed and prepared to receive something which we can carry with us into our next life.
When you are filled with something new
The development of your soul will also open up new paths for you through your own talent and your own wisdom. As a result of the latihan it can happen - even when you are no longer young - that you are filled with something that is new to you. Then sometimes you no longer feel comfortable with the work you are doing, and that leads to a conflict or a pressure within you that may feel like a heavy burden in your life. But with the opening out of your soul, your new gifts can open the way for you and guide you in accordance with your individual talent.
What I am saying here does not mean that everybody will immediately understand what their talent is, because it may be that your talent is still buried too deep - if your soul is not sufficiently alive yet, how can you discover your talent? So it doesn’t mean that you need to worry about it, or that everybody should make an effort to find out their true talent. Perhaps it cannot be known, because your soul has not yet reached that point. So don’t force it, because this will come in its own time. Then you will notice that there is something you can do, and when you work at it, it makes you happy and satisfied; it doesn't feel like a burden within you, meaning that it doesn’t restrict the growth of your soul.
This is one of the reasons why the latihan is the secret of life or a training for life. So the latihan is not a training for death. Perhaps people think that the purpose of a spiritual way is only to prepare us to die easily, so that at the moment of death we go to God; so that we are finished, as it were, ready to die. That’s not it. In this training of the soul in Subud, death is simply like crossing a bridge. What you need to learn is how you will cross that bridge, to make sure that you don’t get stuck on the bridge and don’t know where to go.
So with the latihan you are preparing yourself to be able to jump across or to cross the bridge between life and death, to a state where we no longer have anything. What will it be like when we can no longer use our mind or the rest of our equipment? That is the purpose of the latihan.
Perhaps not many of you can really convince yourselves of the need for the latihan. For many of you it still seems like you are doing something meaningless and not really satisfying. But in fact it is something that is willed by God. A spiritual way cannot be easy. It is hard because it concerns your own being. Whether or not you make it, whether you are able to find the way that leads you back to the state in which God originally created you as a human being is in your own hands. It is your own responsibility.
When someone experiences a crisis
Indeed, the difference between these two states, or between these two worlds, is very great, and we human beings cannot experience this difference unless it is the Will of Almighty God. This can be demonstrated in a quite ordinary state when someone experiences a crisis. Even though you ask them to stop, if it is not time for the crisis to end, then they can't stop, even if they want to. It is like bad reception on a television set. They want to return to normal, but they can't - they don’t have the power to do so. Even though they are fully aware of whatever it is that they are doing, they are completely unable to return to a normal state.
So what can we do? We can only pray to Almighty God so that this brother or sister concerned be given the strength to ask for and obtain the ability to surrender. It's clear from this that you cannot transfer your ability to surrender to someone else. It has to grow by itself. It has to grow from within the person who is experiencing the crisis. In the end they will be able to surrender and pray to God for the grace to be able to return to normal; only then will Almighty God grant their request.
This shows us that surrender cannot be taught, nor can it be achieved by just saying some words with our mouth. Surrender requires something that can master your being at the deepest level. Many of you perhaps don’t understand yet what surrender is. As I said just now, you can't force it, and you can't teach it. So what does it feel like? What are you supposed to do? [It comes] through the latihan. When you do the latihan, your being is formed in a state of surrender. Then when you possess a self that is surrendered, Almighty God will give you many opportunities.
While we often read and hear about surrender, the fact is we have to learn it from our own experience, through doing the latihan. Because simply through your surrender, you have prepared a very large space within yourself, the size of which depends on what God is going to give you. Because God knows to what extent, or to what degree He can give you His grace. So don’t get the feeling, which perhaps some of you have, ‘Why is it, that after doing the latihan for years I still don’t have something that can make me sure about its reality?’
I’m not just telling you stories because I have read or heard them in Bapak’s talks. I am telling you all this because I have experienced it. That is why I am able to tell you about it; if I had only read them, I probably wouldn't be able to speak about it. So whatever I experience, I check it against things I have read or heard of Bapak's talks. All we have to do is to compare it… ‘Oh, this is how it is; that is how it is.’
This is why it is still necessary for you to read Bapak's talks or listen to them, because that’s where the guidance is. There is no point in asking the helpers because they don’t know either - they’ll end up telling you something different. To make sure that you don’t get the wrong advice, you really need Bapak’s talks.
But perhaps there are times when many of you feel that we no longer need to read Bapak’s talks or publish them. ‘Why should we publish them, since it costs such a lot of money?’
The reason is because Bapak's talks are our only guidance on the spiritual path of Subud, so we cannot put them aside. When you have an experience, all you have to do is check it [against what Bapak said]. But not the reverse! Don’t read Bapak’s talks in order to try to have the same experiences as Bapak did. Don't do that!
So go back to Bapak’s letters and talks again, in order to understand what you have received, or what you have felt, for there is no difference. Bapak’s state is different from ours, but it has a relevance for us. For instance, what I receive can’t be the same as what Bapak received - that’s impossible - but the path is the same.
Why I say this is because I get a lot of letters - even from helpers, perhaps from people who have been helpers for a long time - who say, ‘Surely we no longer need to imitate or follow whatever it says in Bapak’s books or Bapak’s guidance, for after all we are able to connect directly with God’s power.’ There are those who say that.
So here we have to convey the understanding that… well, Bapak is not God, that’s true, but he is like our father. He can be described as the pioneer of Subud, so he is certainly to some extent responsible for pointing the way for us all, the way that he pioneered.
What we receive is still mixed
Because we are aware that - as human beings, and according to the history of spiritual development - even though we have been given a gift that is the touch of God, but all that we have is not yet completely ours. Therefore what we receive is still mixed. In other words, we cannot yet say that one hundred percent of what we have received is true, or that it needs no further correction - as if, having received it we no longer need to test it or check it.
The attitude that what one receives must be right, not wanting to give way, wanting to be right, is of course bad for us. It leads to arrogance which is damaging to the person - or let us say helper - concerned. It can block their own progress. The fact is that whatever we are able to do is not from ourselves. If we have some ability, it is not from ourselves. A helper is only a vessel through whom God can give guidance to someone else. If, as a helper, you can place yourself in a state of surrender, you will not have the feeling that of yourself you can do something or you know something, or that you are right.
People are like a mirror
You cannot force people to trust you, that will come spontaneously from the members. In this, [people] are simply like a mirror. If you do good you will also receive goodness. And this is in fact a lesson for us all - those who are older should simply follow what happens. In other words, don’t get the idea that if you are older and have been a long time in Subud, that makes you adept and puts you on a high level. On the contrary, we should be able to set a good example to the young members and become a good role model for them, so as to give them the courage and willingness to continue what we have been able to do in Subud. So let it not happen that the older members in fact become obstacles for the younger ones, while the young ones should be willing to go forward with dedication and sincerity.
As we know, in Subud there is no law-enforcement. We cannot punish people because they are wrong, or tell them that they may not do the latihan or that they must leave Subud. But we have the laws that are inside each one of us, the laws of God. Bapak described them in his talks as the Ilofi law and the Kudus law. The Ilofi law is the law which is inside your being, while the Kudus law always witnesses what you do. So you can’t escape - wherever you go they will find you, since the laws are inside you.
In Subud it very often happens that people who still call themselves Subud members do things that are not in accordance with what we know is right from the latihan. Such actions are then considered [by people outside] as coming from Subud or as being the teaching of Subud. In fact it is their own doing - it is not the fault of Subud, but the responsibility of that person.
Brothers and sisters, I feel that is probably enough for tonight, something that you need for your latihan. Although it wasn’t much, I hope that what I have explained will encourage all of you to persevere with the latihan, with your full submission, faith, and conviction, so that you will all get the results that you are hoping for out of Subud. I pray that all of you will find what you are hoping for from Subud. Please forgive me if there were any mistakes in the way I explained the spiritual way. Thank you, and good night.
According to Pak Muninjaya there may be those of you who want to ask questions. Of course I don't want to disappoint you because many of you have come from very far. But please don’t go on asking questions that have already been asked before, as that is boring for the audience and also for me.
Question: If a helper is experiencing a crisis, does he/she have to continue doing their duties as a helper? What should the chairperson of the local helpers group do in such a situation, since in fact most helpers in crisis want to go on being active.
Ibu Rahayu: If a helper is in crisis, it's better if they become non-active, and in fact sometimes it's better if they stop doing latihan, so that the crisis can finish quickly. Because when you are in crisis you are in latihan all the time anyway. But when the crisis is finished, and they are back to normal, it's all right for them to be helpers again.