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Extracts from Interviews:-
10. Rosana talks to Patricia in Gloucestershire, England
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I came into Subud when my sister took me to Coombe Springs where Mr. John Bennett had carried out the Gurdjieff work whose many members were now in Subud. I was taken into the Djamichunatra, a unique seven-sided building, which was supposed to be very symbolic and esoteric. There was no preparatory explanations of Subud such as are now given. We just sat around in the Djamichunatra where there seemed to be a lot of gorgeous ladies in saris and flowing dresses.
We were then told to begin the Subud spiritual exercise which is known by its Javanese name of Latihan. The first thing that happened was my arm shot into the air. I don't remember feeling anything else but I do remember other people were rushing about and making a lot of noise. I knew this Latihan was an act of worship of some kind but I knew nothing else.
We used to go every night. Very shortly after I had been there, I was made a helper. Bapak did not stay very long (in England) if you remember, so he appointed helpers to witness the opening of new Subud members to the Latihan.
I used to help on the reception desk, which was very interesting as all kinds of people were arriving from all over the world. One day I was told, "When an Indian arrives will you please send him straight down to Bapak". Within a short time a man we all later got to know arrived. I didn't know Varindra Vittachi then but he was later to become a key person in the Subud world organisation. At the time, I thought to myself, "How did Bapak know that an Indian was going to arrive?" I found it quite extraordinary.
I used to go down to reception every day. Mothers would be changing
nappies, empty cigarette packet were left uncleared from the night
before. So I became a charlady of sorts and would be there all
day. There was a woman whom I would always end up driving home.
She'd ask silly questions or grumble, and, at that particular
time, it was very strange for me to understand her because my
own experience was to look inwardly for answers.
You mean you knew from inside of yourself?
Yes, I took it absolutely for granted that I always had the answers.
I thought it must have been like that for everyone. So I was
very impatient with this women who asked so many questions.
What did you tell people who were waiting to be opened?
Did you tell them anything?
Oh no, we were only there to check up who was there and who came in. By that time, Bapak and and his wife (Ibu Sumari) had opened a lot of people as did the Bennetts. So there was a lot of activity and a lot of people coming in and out.
We had to make lists of people who had come great distances such as Scotland or Manchester, so that they could start their Latihan early and return home. People living nearby would have later Latihan often after midnight.
Because I was a helper there was always lots to do. I also had
a car which meant lots more to do. I don't even remember doing
a quiet Latihan before doing a helper's Latihan. In fact we hardly
knew what we were doing anyway. I sometimes felt I was more like
a social worker with all the tidying up and reception work I was
doing. I would make tea for the unwell and prepare food for the
hungry, then sit quietly and do the Latihan and answer any questions
that were answerable. Later on helpers worked in pairs and shared
the work.
How did you feel that Latihan had affected your life?
It is funny to say this but Subud became a habit and a way of life. There was nothing written in those days, nothing said. We just did it. And if nothing happened, well it didn't. We just carried on. We did have talks in the Djamichunatra with Mr. Bennett translating.
I remember one talk of Bapak's when he spoke about stones and different forces and I remember I felt just like a piece of rock, a solid stone. I thought it was the man behind me making me feel this sensation. I looked behind to see, but of course saw nothing.
We then began to have very big Latihan. An "O" group was formed where all the noisiest members had their Latihan together. At that time Mariam, Mariam and Sheila took the Latihan.
My sister Kate became ill with cancer. Bapak was in Germany and I wrote to Mr. Bennett who was with him asking for Bapak's advice as my sister had said she did not want an operation. Mr. Bennett kindly wrote back very quickly saying that Bapak had said my sister was right in wanting to trust in God only as she had received enough in this world to find her way into the next. I remember those words so clearly and I remember something else which was very important for me.
Another member, Tosca, also developed cancer in those early days . When she wrote to Bapak to say she felt she should have an operation, Bapak replied that she was right in her feeling that she should have the operation. I realised then that it was a personal decision. Bapak was not a doctor and he always gave people what they needed which was what they wanted.
He never told us off; people could behave badly if they wanted.
It was a blessing not to be corrected by Bapak as one could perceive
one's behaviour within oneself and one could correct the behaviour.
(Rosanna is aged 96. She lives in Frampton-on-Severn,
Gloucestershire, at a residential home started by Subud members.)
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